IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS
At almost every visit to our office, Bob embarrasses himself or my staff. When he came in for his last physical, he was handed a one-page Review of Systems form to complete while sitting in the waiting room. The Review of Systems form lists dozens of symptoms from headache to constipation to ingrown toenails. The patient circles any symptoms he or she may endure so we can discuss them during the office visit.
Ten minutes after receiving his form, Bob strolled up to my receptionist and said loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear, “What is imPOtency? I-M-P-O-T-E-N-C-Y?” Yes, he even spelled it out loud for her in his booming voice, lest any- one in the waiting room missed it the first time.
My receptionist turned fifty shades of red before responding, “Bob, if you have to ask what it is, you probably don’t have it.” Not taking the hint, Bob said, “But I don’t know if I have it or not. Do you know if I have imPOtency?”
By this time, every patient in the waiting room was smirking and snickering and elbowing each other, all watching to see how my usually unflappable receptionist would handle the question.
Without missing a beat she said, “Bob, I definitely don’t know, nor do I want to know.” She then added, “Why don’t you discuss this with Dr. Burbank privately, when you’re back in the exam room.”
Never one to pick up on social cues, Bob began asking the pa- tients in the waiting room if any of them knew what imPOtency were. Meanwhile, my receptionist dashed to the back, snatched my nurse by the scruff of the neck, and threatened bodily harm if she didn’t bring Bob back to an exam room NOW, before the patients in the waiting room fled the office in droves.
Once escorted back to the exam room, I explained to Bob what IMpotency meant. He laughed and volunteered, “Naw, I don’t have that. I do just fine with the ladies, know what I mean?” Snort, snort.
Okay, too much information. Like my receptionist, I didn’t know, nor did I want to know!
Bob then added, “You ought to clue in your receptionist and them other folks in the waiting room. None of them knew what the word meant either!”
Come back tomorrow for another delightful story shared by the author, "An Embarrassing Misdiagnosis".
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sally Willard Burbank started life on a small dairy farm in Derby, Vermont. Her parents, Everett and Dorothy Willard, still live in Orleans, Vermont.
She moved to Montpelier at age ten and graduated from Montpelier High School in 1977. She attended Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas and graduated summa cum laude in 1980. She completed her medical training at the University of Vermont College of Medicine in Burlington, Vermont in 1986. Upon completing medical school, she married her longtime sweetie, Nathan Burbank, and they moved to Nashville, Tennessee where she completed her internship and residency training. She established a private practice in internal medicine in Nashville and has doctored patients since 1989.
She has published multiple stories in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Angels on Earth magazine, and several anthologies. She co-leads Nashville Christian Writers and is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. She has recently completed a novel called More than a Hunch. The book is projected to be published as an E-book by the end of the year.
She’s the proud mother of two college students, Steven and Eliza, enjoys gardening, reading, writing, bicycling, cooking, and catering to the whims of a yappy but adorable silky terrier named Tiger Lily. She does not enjoy working out on her Elliptical but does it anyway to keep up with her love of all things chocolate.
Patients I'll Never Forget is available in print and for Kindle.
Strongly recommended by
this discerning (picky) blogger!