Disclaimer: Satire, not sacrilege, intended.
1. Thou shalt carry a notebook in thy pocket or purse. Thee never knoweth when a good idea for a story will presenteth itself.
2. Thou shalt doest careful research when writing about a subject thou knowest naught about or a time period in which thou hast not actually lived. (Thou canst not fool the savvy reader!)
3. Thou shalt write by the seat of thy pants if it workest well for thee--or planneth much or little--thou knowest how thou writest best.
4. Thou shalt not utter vain and foolish words like, "My muse hath deserted me" or "Yay, I am not inspired" or "Writers Block hath crept in to torment me." (Gettest over it.)
5. Thou shalt not write that with which thee is not comfortable but rather be true to thyself.
6. Thou shalt not fear hitting the delete key on that which is not working.
7. Thou shalt understand that a first draft stinketh.
8. Thou shalt not search vainly for 'voice'. Dost thou not speak in thine own voice? Dost it not follow that thee shalt write in the same?
9. Thou shalt takest all writing advice with a grain of salt--preferably two grains.
10. Thou shalt understand that rules are madest to be broken, not to stunt a writer's progress.
Keepth these commandments and findest joy in all thy writing undertakings!